A gallant young Frenchman named Grandhomme
Was attempting a girl on a tandem.
At the height of the make
She slammed on the brake,
And scattered his semen at random

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher
commented that the next day would be the shortest day
of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited,
cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
amount of daylight changes,not the actual a…

A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch
when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last
requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic)
could you please do something to sca…

Here’s a cute little ditty:

Little pigeon in the sky,
Dropping (things) from way up high,
Angry farmer wipes his eye,
Very glad that cows don’t fly!

Sent by tilak

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The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history…this
century’s history…We all lived in this century. I didn’t live in
this century.
— Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential
candidate during a news…

Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took h…

At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking
at the cards, finally shaking her head, “No.”

A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?”

“I don’t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry I
laughed at your dick’ cards?”

A seamstress at Epping-on-Tyne
Used to peddle her tail down the line.
She first got a crown,
But her prices went down—
Now she’ll fit you for ten pence or nine.